For the Love of Cadvan and Maerad
by Scribbler29
Summary: The scene that was missing at the end of "The Singing": when Cadvan and Maerad confess their love to each other. Alison Croggon seemed to skip that scene, though it was a major conflict. Please don't read this if you haven't finished "The Singing."


It was over, yet Maerad didn't feel any sort of triumph. Nothing had seemed to be accomplished, yet in her mind she knew Sharma was no more. Perhaps she had no emotion left after all she had seen in the Hollow Lands these past few days, and having watched her dead parents bow to her in a way that made her feel superior. But she didn't want to be superior, she realized. Sharma's idea of ruling Annar would have never worked, for she didn't want to be the ruler of anything. She wanted to be Maerad.

She glanced over at Hem, who had the expression of someone having just had a great weight lifted from their shoulders. The tuning fork was still clutched tightly in his hand, though it no longer had any special use. He met her eyes, and he smiled slightly.

"We did it, Maerad," he breathed. "It's over. We did it."

He ran into his sister, his arms wrapped around her squeezing tightly, making it hard for her to breathe. She still felt dazed, and something else, like a piece of her was missing, but she no longer felt like an abyss, empty and powerful, or like the entire world, controlling everything, and that made her happy. She rested her head on Hem's shoulder and they both stood, silhouettes in the moonlight.

She stepped back from Hem and smiled, something she thought she would never do again without pretending. She was suddenly very tired, but she ignored it and enjoyed the pleasure of no longer having fear in the world. She turned around and there stood three figures, the figures of her friends. None of them spoke a word, for nothing needed to be said, and for that she was glad, for she wasn't sure she would able to say one word without bursting into tears, and she was too stubborn to cry in front of them.

Maerad approached Hekibel first, and though she was not a Bard, something in her face told her she knew that Sharma was gone. They embraced, and then Maerad approached Saliman, someone she had admired since their first meeting in Innail. She disappeared in his large arms, his smile seeming to light up the whole world. She stepped back, nodding her head, then her eyes drifted to someone she wanted to talk to very much.

Cadvan stood a bit out of the way of everyone else. He looked almost shy as she walked up to him, like he wasn't worthy of her presence, but he hid it quickly. The scar from the Hulls shone from the moonlight, a reminder of the cruelty that used to rule the world. He smiled at her, and this time there wasn't a hint of nervousness in his expression. She rammed into him and wanted nothing better than to feel him embracing her in the way that made her feel safe, even from herself.

Her face buried in his shirt, she could smell his ruggedness, the smell of pine trees and a fresh spring breeze. Then, losing all of her control, she started sobbing right in front of him. She didn't want Cadvan to feel bad for her, but being in his arms made all of her emotions pour out of her. He stroked her hair and waited for her to calm down.

In this moment, Maerad was finally starting to understand the meaning of love. It was easy to talk about it when you were referring to someone else, or when her former lover, Dernhil, had long been gone from the world. But thinking of love when directed to Cadvan sent fear through her, from her past experiences of men, but also from being afraid of what she didn't understand. She hadn't understood the Winter King, nor Sharma, but she had never feared them in the way she feared love. She had never wanted it, for it only made things more complicated, but she finally admitted to herself that she had loved Cadvan since she saw him in the cow brier. That was why she had trusted him immediately.

She pulled away, her tears now mostly dry, Cadvan's arms still wrapped around her. He stared at her with such concern it made her heart melt.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

She nodded, sniffing. "Actually, I've never felt better. But Cadvan, I feel like something's missing, like a part of me got lost when I defeated Sharma."

Perhaps she was no longer a Bard, she thought. Perhaps she had used up all her powers, and now had none left. She felt panicked at losing her Gift, but then she looked at Cadvan. She knew inside that he wouldn't care if she was a Bard or not. But even so, she still couldn't voice her fear to him just yet.

"I wouldn't fret over it, Maerad," he told her. "I would imagine anyone would feel odd after having defeated the greatest threat in Annar." He smiled. "I think you are in better condition than most would be."

She smiled slightly, but then it dropped. "But I don't feel like I've accomplished anything, like today was the same as yesterday. In my mind, nothing has changed. I know I no longer have a burden, and I know I've saved thousands of lives, but I feel no different. Why is that?"

Cadvan got the look on his face that said he was going to say something wise. He took both of her hands in his. "Maybe you aren't complete yet," he said. "Maybe something is missing from your life that you need." He paused. "Listen to your heart, Maerad. What does it tell you that you need to be complete?"

Maerad already knew the answer, but paused all the same. She was almost afraid to admit her feelings to Cadvan, but if she didn't tell him, then he would never know. She looked up at him, preparing herself.

"I've trusted you since that moment we talked in Gilman's Cot and you told me who I really was. I've never trusted any man, and to suddenly trust you was…confusing for me. You're my very dear friend, and I would hate myself if I ever hid anything from you. I've made that mistake once already," she said, remembering the Gwalhain Pass and how terrible she had treated him. She looked down at her hands in his and held them tighter. "I wouldn't a want a world where you're not in it," she said. "I want us to be together always, and I've finally admitted to myself that what I'm feeling must be love."

She looked up at him, her voice growing soft. "And I have a feeling you feel the same for me, though you've never told me. If my assumptions are incorrect then please correct me now."

Cadvan almost looked sad as he met her gaze. "I do feel the same, Maerad," he said. "I have felt it ever since Gilman's Cot, but I never told you because I feared you would grow afraid of me if I did. At first, you were cautious of me anyway, so it would've done no good to tell you. Many people despise me for what I have done in the past, and I'm ashamed of how foolish I was, but for you to still believe in me after I told you of what I did only confirmed how much I love you."

He smiled and stroked her hair. "I already know full well the consequences of traveling with Maerad the Unpredictable, but I feel the same as you, for I couldn't imagine traveling if you weren't by my side. I want us to be together."

His coarse hands rested on her cheeks, and his kiss was the only thing certain Maerad had ever felt in her life. She liked it, and she wanted it with no regrets. She didn't even care that Hem or Saliman might be watching, for it just felt so right. Cadvan rested his mouth next to her ear.

"I love you, Maerad," he whispered.

Maerad was so happy she almost couldn't speak, but choked out words she never knew she had been so desperate to say. "I love you too, Cadvan," she said back to him.


End file.
